Blessings?

Ok, I know a good job is a great blessing. That's not in question. And today was my first day, so that's nothing to judge by. But I can promise that I was not cut out for this job. I'm going to have to be stretched mightily to fill the hole. I was good in training. I was comfortable. I was doing the work for real, and there was no pressure. Heck, my trainer is the owner's 16 year old daughter! Then I start for real. My first task was to set up my own computer. Well that took forever. Then I had to find all the websites we use, and try to keep track of a whole slew of new usernames and passwords. But some of them weren't working, so I had to speed train on a different task, because I can't do the ones I know and love. Then after I get thrown into something new, it's my turn to be on primary phone duty. Well I haven't got a clue about that. All I know how to do is ask someone to hold for a certified loan officer if they happen to ask the right question. And then I have to go find them a loan officer. I met most of them... but I can't expect to actually know their names for at least another 2 weeks. And besides that, what if someone asks me a question that isn't "I'm trying to lock my rate?" What do I do then? I have no answers. None. I don't know anything. If I did, I'd be happy to answer the phone. As it was, I avoided answering it at all costs. I answered twice. And I felt sick the entire time I was on duty. And before. And after. I was feeling better by the end of the day. But my brain was still a mess. Sometimes all I could do was stare at my computer screen even though I'd done this so many times already. I couldn't focus. I was so scared. And this was a Friday. I can't imagine what Monday is going to be like. It can't get far enough away.

I came home and my wonderful Stephen had cooked dinner. What a champion. Then we went to see a movie in the dollar theatre. And got ice cream. I have to admit that I've had far too much of that this week. It's been a long while since I've been this excited to sleep.