The story you've all been waiting for: Part II

So where I left off yesterday I was relieved the Stephen knew for sure that I liked him, but also scared to death because I really had no idea how he felt about that. I knew he liked me, but not that way. I didn't really know what to do at this point. I tried to act normal around him, like nothing happened, but it didn't work. I am naturally a quiet person, but I suddenly became very, very shy around him. I could hardly talk to him at all. I saw him at dinner group, and sat by him at church. We even went on a walk one night, but no matter how I tried I could NOT talk to him. It helped a little that I finally told my room mates what was going on. They hadn't been very perceptive, and were completely surprised when I told them I liked Stephen.

It was two weeks before he finally asked me on an actual date. By that time I was quite certain that he was only taking me on a date because he said he would, and not because he wanted to. The day of the date I was really frustrated and worried, because at 7:30pm I still hadn't heard from him about when we were going or what we were doing. He finally showed up at 8:30, and I tried not to show how angry I was. Apparently he knew he was in trouble though, and asked my room mates how bad it was when I went to get my coat. They only said that he better make it up to me. It should have been a really fun date. We went down to Center Street and walked around taking some really cool pictures. He tried to teach me how to use his awesome camera. I know he tried to make sure I would have a good time, but I felt like he didn't really want to be there. Therefore, I was still unable to talk to him freely, because as much as I tried not to be, I was hurt and angry. He took me to get some ice cream and we went back to my apartment to eat it, but the date ended early when someone called him to give them a blessing.

Two days later I had to teach the Relationships class for sunday school, and I was dreading it. He knew that, and he came to the class. There were only 10 people. I wished he hadn't come. To this day I don't know what possessed him to do such a thing. The lesson turned out fine, thanks to a talk by Elder Holland. Later that night, Stephen came over to talk to me, and I thought at first that was a good sign. I was wrong. He let me know that he thought I was too quiet for him, and it would be best for us to just be friends. He was right at the time, but I was still hurt. And yet, it was exactly what I needed. I needed to know where I stood. As soon as he said it, everything went back to normal. We were friends again. I could talk to him just as easily as before. It was almost as if I said to myself, "I'll show you just how good of a friend I am." And I did. And when he said we should be friends no matter what, he meant it. We were great friends that month.

Towards the end of March, Stephen started saying things to me that were really stupid to say to a girl he didn't want to date. Things like, "we look really good together" after we had our picture taken together at a stake activity. One night I had to walk to my sister's apartment late to get the car, and I asked him to walk with me. It was snowing really hard, which I didn't know when I asked him. That was such a fun walk! And there was no way he could complain about my being too quiet. When I dropped him off, he got out of the car, then turned back and said, "The man who marries you is going to be the luckiest guy on earth." I should have told him to get back in the car so I could yell at him. I knew he meant it as a genuine compliment from a friend, but when a guy says that he usually means, "but it's not going to be me." The next day was April 1st, and I had a huge meltdown and decided I was leaving Provo forever...